Katie Delimon is a trauma-informed coach, author, and speaker who helps people heal the inherited patterns that shape their lives. Through her writing, coaching, and candid storytelling, she empowers others to confront family secrets, reclaim their voice, and build relationships rooted in honesty instead of fear. Read on to discover how Katie is breaking cycles and why she believes healing begins the moment we stop hiding our truth.
How do you define a "Cycle Breaker?"
Honestly, I think everyone is a cycle breaker. It's almost impossible to live an entire life without breaking some cycle. The real question is: which cycles are you choosing to break? To me, a cycle breaker is someone who takes full responsibility for how they show up in the world.
They stop blaming their past as an excuse to keep hurting themselves or other people. They become curious about their patterns, do the inner work, and make conscious choices instead of repeating unconscious ones. A cycle breaker doesn't pretend they aren't hurting; they refuse to keep projecting their unresolved wounds onto the people they love.
What adversities or experiences have you lived through?
I grew up in a family where silence, secrets and shame were woven into everyday life. . I was born from an affair and spent 38 years not knowing the man who raised me wasn't my biological father. I only discovered the truth after taking an AncestryDNA test—a Christmas gift from my in-laws. Both my biological parents died with this secret inside.
I was named after my aunt, who was murdered before I was born. That story was never spoken about. Neither was the fact that my parents adopted her 18-month-old son and raised him as my brother without ever telling him. He discovered the truth on his own at 14. My mother had multiple affairs, including the relationship that led her to leave my dad for her dead sister's widower. My mum was unpredictable and explosive, with behaviours I experienced as narcissistic. My dad coped oppositely—he shut down emotionally, avoided conflict and rarely spoke about difficult things.
Alongside those family secrets, I experienced childhood sexual abuse, was raped in my twenties, became a high-functioning alcoholic, cared for my mum through her hospice journey, and spent years living with anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, IBS and relationships that reflected how little I understood my own worth.
What is a cycle, belief or pattern you’ve worked to break or challenge in your life?
My voice growing up, I learned to walk on eggshells. Speaking up often led to yelling, conflict or emotional shutdown, so silence felt safer than honesty. Today, using my voice with respect, conviction and compassion isn't just something I teach—it's a cycle I've had to break myself. Break scarcity/lack mindset around money. I grew up in a home where money was a constant source of stress.
There was always worry about where it would come from, whether there would be enough, and what might happen if there wasn't. Even when I had enough as an adult, my nervous system still responded as if I didn't. I've had to consciously learn that safety isn't created by a number in my bank account—it's created within me.
What helped you begin healing, growing, or changing that cycle?
Speaking up—and getting it wrong. Confidence doesn't come from awareness alone. It comes from action. From awkward conversations, imperfect boundaries, failed attempts and trying again. Every time I chose courage over comfort, I taught my nervous system that using my voice was safe. That's how confidence is built—not through perfection, but through repetition. Practice. Practice. Practice.
What are your proudest accomplishments?
I'm incredibly proud of building my business, self-publishing my first book after four years, Trust the Flames, and now writing my second. But, my proudest accomplishment is my marriage. I grew up without a healthy, emotionally mature relationship to model, and I only knew my husband for three months before we eloped in Vegas.
Today, my husband and I have built a relationship grounded in honesty, respect, accountability and repair. Not because it's perfect, but because we're both willing to have the hard conversations, take responsibility for our mistakes and keep choosing each other. To me, that's success.
Is there a message, quote, lesson, or reminder you’d like to share with others who may be struggling along their healing journey?
Every storm has two purposes.... To DESTROY what isn't solid and to REVEAL what is.... Whatever you are going through is just a revealer. I also love that Dr Seuss quote: "Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter!"
Do you have any projects you're working on that you'd like to highlight?
Currently working on my second book: Lies We Inherit: How Family Secrets, Shape, Break and Ultimately Heal Us.
Connect with Katie:
- Instagram: @katiedelimon